I’m not going to lie, the last two days have been a struggle. I’ve not been as tearful as I was last week, but I think everything is catching up with me. I’ve just been in a world of my own and can’t seem to gather my thoughts at all. I’m trying to keep up with normal everyday life but this DNA result is just hanging over my head like a massive black cloud.
We’ve had the ECG result today which is showing abnormalities, and there are several more of his blood levels which are not within normal range. It has taken away every last bit of hope I had that it could be a huge mistake. I guess its preparing me for the DNA result as my head knows that he does have Duchenne, but my heart still has that hope that he doesn’t. I’m still going through the denial phase. I was confusing positivity with denial at the weekend, and I don’t think I’ve done myself any favours.
I just know that as soon as I have those DNA results, and ‘official’ confirmation, I’m going to wish I was still waiting for them. The 28th June will be the day that this all becomes real and I will have no choice but to accept it.